February 10, 2003

'We're not Jesus,' counselor reminds ministers
___By John Hall
___Texas Baptist Communications
___SALADO--Ministers are expected to know all the answers, get teachers for every Sunday School class, meet the needs of every person, counsel people and never make mistakes while having perfect family lives and saving the world from eternal damnation.
___It's time to get real, said Amy Branch-Lambert, pastoral care consultant with the Baptist General Convention of Texas.
___Many ministers are strained by the expectations they hold for themselves and by the perceived expectations of their congregations, Branch-Lambert said. Instead, they need to be comfortable with their limitations, she added.
___"We're not Jesus, let's face it," Branch-Lambert said at the BGCT-sponsored Preschool/ Children's Leadership Retreat in Salado. "We're called to be the hands and feet of Jesus. We're not Jesus."
___Stress builds under the heavy expectations, leading to the influx of adrenaline into the brain, the counselor explained. Under chronic stress, adrenaline cuts off right-brain activity, including problem-solving skills and emotions. Continued stress leads the brain to shut down left brain activity, including logical and analytical skills, leaving a person in a "fight or flight" survival mode, she said.
___Ministers must understand and nurture their God-given gifts, she said, and gather volunteers or other staff to edify their weaknesses.
___That requires giving others ownership of the effort, Branch-Lambert said. Ministers can continue to guide a project, but must not micromanage the venture, understanding that the project may turn out differently than they would have done it.
___"Its really easy to say they're not doing it like I would do it," she said. "But maybe they are giving ... an experience you would not have given. You need to explore all areas of giftedness." The counselor encouraged church staff members to set boundaries for themselves that achieve a balance between work and family.
___She also offered other suggestions to deal with stress:
___ Recognize emotions.
___ Deal with the cause. If tension comes from a person, talk about the issue. If tension stems from an unfinished project, make time to finish it.
___ Use a personal support system. Have a confidant outside the church who is trusted, helpful and encouraging. If such a confidant is lacking, a person may want to seek professional help.
___ Let emotions out. Release feelings in an appropriate manner--crying, screaming, jogging, gardening or another activity.
___ Take care of the body. When the body is run down, it is more difficult for a person to clearly take stock of a situation and deal with it.
___ Take pride in accomplishments. Examine and remember successes.
___ Take one thing at a time. Tackle tasks in order of importance, allowing for a rest period between assignments. Set goals and celebrate when they are accomplished.
___ Realize limits. Do not take on too much. Unfinished projects cause more stress than turning down tasks.
___ Do something for others. Actions that help others make both parties feel better.

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