Bivocational ministers discuss how to respond to abuse cases_81103

Posted: 8/8/03

Bivocational ministers discuss
how to respond to abuse cases

By John Hall

Texas Baptist Communications

BELTON–As many as seven out of 100 people in a church experienced abuse as children, according to conservative estimates. Texas Baptist leaders want to help congregational leaders learn how to minister to those unique needs.

About 200,000 child abuse cases are reported annually, according to Charles Lavine, pastor of Terrace Acres Baptist Church in Fort Worth and a licensed counselor. Many more are never reported, as victims hide out of fear or embarrassment, he added.

The abuse affects each level of churches' ministries, said Dwayne Wheat, pastor of Berea Baptist Church in Big Spring and a licensed counselor.

“Children in abusive homes probably attend some of your church activities. Senior adults who are abused and exploited may also serve or be served by your church. There are adults in our churches who were abused as children,” Wheat said.

The latter group demands attention on two fronts, he added: “One, they probably need specific ministry, and secondly they are extremely at-risk of becoming abusers. And because of that, if we use them as workers, we can be in a great deal of trouble ourselves.”

While church leaders are legally obligated to report child abuse when they find it, victims may not tell them what is happening at home, Lavine said. Bruises, running away from home and more knowledge about sex than expected are some potential indicators of abuse.

Identifying abusers also can be difficult if they are not pointed out, according to Dan McGee, director of Baptist General Convention of Texas Psychological Services. Although there are generally acknowledged risk factors, all abusers do not fit one profile and most do not exhibit psychological problems, he said.

“Abusers are not always disciplinarians or authoritarians. While abusers are often people with high expectations of themselves and others, in abusive situations I usually find an imbalance between external stressors and parenting skills,” he said. “Parents do not want to be abusive and often feel guilty afterward, but they have run out of resources and need help.”

Abuse may reveal itself as secondary symptoms such as difficulty getting close to others, sexual disengagement and anger, Lavine explained at the Bivocational Ministers' and Spouses Statewide Conference.

Several factors–secondary symptoms, the severity of the abuse, identity of the abuser, how a victim has dealt with the issue and a minister's natural instincts–make counseling abused individuals difficult, Lavine said.

However, he found abused individuals often come to pastors for counseling because they recognize the church is supposed to help. Pastors should be available to counseling victims by being open and understanding, he added.

However, church leaders cannot push the person into healing, he emphasized.

Victims may have difficulty presenting what happened, but ultimately they must tell their stories to start healing, the pastors said. If the counselor is genuine and patient, the tale of abuse will come out.

“Our first inclination is to try to fix it,” Wheat said. “You're not going to fix it, particularly if the person has been sitting on it for 20 or 30 years.”

The pastors encouraged leaders to use Scripture in their counseling. It can help victims understand liberation comes through forgiveness, they explained, and counselors also may need to help people separate forgiveness from a pardon.

In some instances, a minister should refer a client, Lavine said. If the person becomes psychotic or suicidal or makes a request, a referral is needed. The same is true when the counseling becomes more than the minister can handle because of limited training or time constraints.

“Don't forget that when their problem is too time consuming, you need to let somebody else help you,” Lavine reminded. “It's not failure. It's not that you failed. In fact, you have failed if you devote all your time to that. You're letting your church go.”

Beyond trained counselors for victims, congregations need to have a plan to prevent child abuse in church facilities, Wheat urged. The plan also should outline the church's actions if abuse occurs.

“Unless your church has a detailed plan in place to protect children from abuse in its ministry, it is at risk for loss of its ministry, its reputation and its resources,” Wheat said.

As long as there is a chance child abuse will happen in a community, the church needs to be ready to minister to victims, even if there is only one victim in the congregation, Lavine concluded.

“If there's just one, then there's someone who needs help, and there's a family in need.”