Cybercolumn for 12/22: Pondering by Berry D. Simpson_122203

Posted: 12/19/03

CYBERCOLUMN
Pondering

By Berry D, Simpson

This morning at my weekly McDonald’s Power Breakfast (hotcakes and large Diet Coke), my friend Bear was talking about a phrase from Sunday morning’s sermon, that “Mary pondered these things in her heart” (Luke 2:19).

There was no one closer to the person of Jesus or the circumstances of his origin than Mary, yet she still did not understand the meaning of it all. The one who was closest still had some things to ponder. And even in her pondering, she was obedient at every step. Without knowing all the answers, she still did everything God asked of her in spite of the fact that it caused her great discomfort and public humiliation and a lifetime of being misunderstood. She not only obeyed, but she also praised God with her life and her words. She said, “My soul glorifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.”

Berry D. Simpson

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Posted: 12/19/03

CYBERCOLUMN
Pondering

By Berry D, Simpson

This morning at my weekly McDonald’s Power Breakfast (hotcakes and large Diet Coke), my friend Bear was talking about a phrase from Sunday morning’s sermon, that “Mary pondered these things in her heart” (Luke 2:19).

There was no one closer to the person of Jesus or the circumstances of his origin than Mary, yet she still did not understand the meaning of it all. The one who was closest still had some things to ponder. And even in her pondering, she was obedient at every step. Without knowing all the answers, she still did everything God asked of her in spite of the fact that it caused her great discomfort and public humiliation and a lifetime of being misunderstood. She not only obeyed, but she also praised God with her life and her words. She said, “My soul glorifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior.”

Berry D. Simpson

Sometimes the Bible is almost too understated. Of course, Mary had thoughts to ponder in her heart. After the visits from the shepherds, and later from the wise men, she must have had a moment’s pause at the turn her life was taking. She had to have wondered and worried at what her Son was getting into and at what she was getting into.

The thing is, Bear and I are both ponderers too; it’s one of the reasons we are such good friends. We both struggle to understand and live out exactly what God’s way means. In fact, I would say that not only are we ponderers, but without speaking too much for Bear, I would say we both prefer people like us over those who always know the answers and don’t appear to think about issues once they’ve made up their minds.

Our breakfast discussion reminded me of my journey this year through the four books written by John Eldredge (“Sacred Romance,” “Journey of Desire,” “Wild at Heart” and “Waking the Dead”). More than once. I started to lay them down thinking this was way too much psychobabble and parapsychology; not enough analytic handles I could grab on to. Yet my heart kept drawing me back in. Even when I didn’t understand or relate, my heart kept pulling me back in. I had to relax, stop trying to analyze every page I read, learn to dwell in the books and let them work on my heart. I had to ponder the meaning and relevance to my life, and I had to be patient that understanding would come if I only stayed inside the thought. I could sense that the pull to stay engaged with these books was from God—a pull to deepen and expand and open up my walk with him. I remember telling Cyndi: “I don’t understand all I’m reading, but I am not going to lay it down. The pull on my heart is too strong.”

As Bear and I were talking about Mary’s pondering, I said: “My goal as a writer and a teacher, my mission from God, I believe, is to open the eyes of my people to the bigger and wider world God has for them. To pull back the curtain to show how much bigger God’s story is than the small story we live in when left on our own.” And then I added: “Even as I say that, I have to say I’ve stepped through a curtain of my own these past few months into another layer of God’s big story, and learned once again how much bigger it is than I’d thought. And how much deeper and better than I’d thought.”

Another of my pondering friends, Keith, soon joined Bear and me for breakfast. For several years it has been a regular Tuesday morning date for the three of us, and I look forward to these encounters all week. I like hanging out with people smarter than me.

I can’t count how many times Keith has helped me work through a sticky government issue or listened patiently as I worked and reworked my position on some controversial matter. My friendship with him has been one of the best parts of my time in city government because I never feel I have to have my ideas fully formed before I share them with him. Keith is a ponderer himself, a reader and a thinker, and he leaves me plenty of time and space to ponder my own way through the issues.

I am blessed to have friends in my life like Bear and Keith and Cyndi who let me stir through my half-baked ideas, who encourage me to ponder my way through life.


Berry Simpson, a Sunday School teacher at First Baptist Church in Midland, is a petroleum engineer, writer, runner and member of the city council in Midland.

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