DOWN HOME: Countdown clock ticks louder still_53104

Posted: 5/28/04

DOWN HOME:
Countdown clock ticks louder still

That persistent noise pulsing in the background is the clock ticking. For you, it may sound so faint you don't even notice. But it's excruciatingly loud at our house. And it's going to clang even louder.

This clock really started ticking 17 years, six months and 19 days ago. That's when our youngest daughter, Molly, entered this world.

But the 2003-04 school year ended last week, and somebody turned up the volume on the clock. Sometimes–like when I wake up in the middle of the night–it's all I can hear.

Yes, the clock is ticking, counting down the days MollyBird will eat and sleep and laugh and watch TV and study and tell stories and make her mama and me laugh under our roof.

She's officially a senior. She's part of the veteran group at Lewisville High School. Now we begin 15 months of doing things for the last time. She'll be taking her senior pictures soon. If we're blessed, the summer will pass rather quietly. But then, when school starts, we'll do all kinds of stuff–stuff we've been doing all the time for 15 years, since her sister, Lindsay, started kindergarten–for the last time.

If you've known me for at least three years, you know I didn't take this particularly well when Lindsay started doing all her Last Things at Home. She was our firstborn, going through her last year of high school and getting ready to go off to college. Some days, anticipating her departure, grief seemed to whop me up side of the head, stomp on my sternum and push walnuts in my throat.

Well, Lindsay went off to Hardin-Simmons University a couple of years ago and has had a grand time. Joanna and I have missed her like crazy. But we've reveled in her gladness and enjoyed her times back home.

So, I thought I'd be braver when the time came to face Molly's senior year. Problem is, we only have two kids.

If we had three, four or five, we could have had some in-between kids. (I know; all you parents of litters can tell me each one is hard to give up. But for the sake of argument, let's say their departures are at least different.) With just two daughters, we've gone from letting go of our firstborn to giving up our baby.

What were we thinking when we started having children almost 21 years ago? Did we have a clue how fast they'd grow up and become seniors in high school?

Of course not. We couldn't have imagined. But if we could, we would've done it anyway. No reservations, no hesitation, no regrets.

Because preparing for the two sets of Last Things at Home is the best and most lasting thing we've done or ever will do.

OK, I promise not to bore you by telling you about every last thing of Molly's senior year. But when you wake up in the middle of the night and think about how much you love your children, know you're not alone.