DOWN HOME: Tasty temptation to test Cowboys_12604

Posted: 1/23/04

DOWN HOME:
Tasty temptation to test Cowboys

Here we are, just a few days before the Super Bowl, and I'm already worried about next season.

Don't get me wrong. I'm shocked and amazed–and thrilled–with how Bill Parcells turned the Cowboys around this season. (Apologies to the Texans. In the far north Panhandle, I grew up closer to, oh, the moon than to Houston. So don't hold my lifelong love of the Cowboys against me. It's a quirk of geography. There; I said it. Don't we all feel better?)

Last summer, when Joanna and I took our Tennessee friends Brent and Jackie to the Cowboys' training camp, I never would have believed those guys could go 10-6 this year and make the playoffs. Terrific. One of the great turn-arounds in modern sports history.

But I'm holding out precious little hope for next year.

It's like this: Last week, the nation's fastest-growing donut franchise–I can't tell you its name, but it rhymes with “Misty Scheme”–opened a new store in Irving.

I'm not saying it's close to the Cowboys' headquarters at Valley Ranch, but Quincy Carter could throw a day-old donut from the parking lot into the south practice field.

That's too close. Those donuts are just too good.

Unfortunately, too many of those 'Boys are just too vulnerable. The tastebud is the Achilles' heel of the typical football offensive lineman. It's his weakest physical attribute. Flash a “Hot Now” donut sign in front of an offensive lineman one too many times, and you might as well tear up his contract and look for a good orthopedic surgeon. His knees and ankles are sure to go.

And although they don't look it, wide receivers and defensive backs are even more at-risk. They may not need a forklift to get out of bed in the morning, but they also can't beat anybody if they're carrying 15 extra pounds of donut lard in their spandex britches.

Of course, I wasn't privy to Coach Parcells' parting words to this year's team. Still, I guarantee he didn't tell them “Run Slower, Jump Lower” will be the slogan for the '04 campaign.

But before you Cowboys fans jump off Texas Stadium, consider this: I might be wrong. What do I know? Maybe next year's team will bulk up on “Bill's Donut Diet” and shove everybody else off the field. So, what do I know?

I know the Cowboys will have to be disciplined–donut shop or not–if they expect to improve next year. In the off-season, they'll need to watch what they eat and train hard. When the season starts, they must work diligently, focus and stay healthy.

And that's more or less like our spiritual lives. We must discipline ourselves through prayer, Bible study, worship and service.

The spiritual stakes make the Super Bowl look like tiddlywinks.