Right or Wrong? Interracial dating

Posted: 9/02/05

Right or Wrong? Interracial dating

“My Anglo daughter is dating an African-American young man. I don’t know if this is right or not. What is your advice?”

Issues of race have long been a test case for American Christianity. On Aug. 28, 1963, Martin Luther King Jr. spoke of having a dream that his children someday would live in a nation where they would be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. The simple description of interracial dating demonstrates how far we still have to go in this area.

In the question, the complex issue of dating is reduced to one factor—the color of skin. This reduction is the heart of racism, and racism always is contrary to the heart of God.

The gospel message centers on the sacrifice of Jesus Christ for all people. This message focuses on the family relationship created by the union of believers with God. No one race or other group of people has a monopoly on this relationship. The result of one God and Father is that all Christians are part of one family.

This unity always has been difficult to maintain. The culture of the New Testament and the culture of today are strikingly similar in that they divide people rather than unify them. The prominent means of division always have been by race, social status and gender. The gospel pointedly addresses all these areas of division. Jew and Gentile, slave and free, male and female are specifically mentioned as divisions of people that have been overcome by the unity of God.

The question of dating, then, cannot be answered simply on the difference of skin colors. Many factors should be considered concerning whether or not these two young people are compatible. The reality of life is there are many areas where their similarities and differences will make or break their relationship. The simple difference of race, however, cannot be the sole determining factor.

The questions that must be answered concern those similarities and differences. In today’s society, difference in race often also means a difference of culture and background. This is true not only for race, but for any other significant social distinction. Do these young people share a common concept of important issues such as family, church, tradition and values? Are they both Christians, and if so, do they come from similar worship experiences? How will these differences affect their ability to communicate and find common ground on which to build a relationship?

A second area that must be addressed concerns the ability of the young people to function in the face of adversity. While racism clearly is wrong and contrary to the basic principles of Christianity, we nevertheless live in a society still struggling with it. While the consequences of such a pairing are less severe than they have been in the past, definite social consequences still must be dealt with. These range from the simple distractions of stares and pointing to the real danger of violence. Are they mature enough and prepared to handle such possibilities?

This relationship also will affect others besides the couple. Their family, friends and community all will have to face difficulties related to this pairing. Will these struggles be justified by the new relationship?

These questions cannot be used to mask inherent racism and thus provide an acceptable form of discrimination. They are, however, significant issues that should be adequately addressed before entering into any relationship.

–Van Christian, pastor, First Baptist Church, Comanche

Right or Wrong? is sponsored by the T.B. Maston Chair of Christian Ethics at Hardin-Simmons University’s Logsdon School of Theology. Send your questions about how to apply your faith to btillman@hsutx.edu.