The African proverb, made famous once again by Hillary Clinton’s book, is that it takes a village to raise a child. In the church, we have a responsibility, opportunity and privilege to help our children grow, regardless of whether or not we are biological parents.
Children are a blessing (Psalm 128)
To be sure, this passage is addressed primarily to the biological family, but it is not too much of a stretch to apply its message to the church. Those who fear the Lord have an expectation of certain blessings, one of which is the presence of children around “like olive shoots.” The truly blessed see their children’s children.
In our biological families that are blessed with children, we understand this psalm; it speaks to us much as similar cultural blessings speak to our friends in other religions and traditions across the world about how wonderful it is to have children. It is not unique to the people of Yahweh to speak of children as evidence of divine blessing, and the universality of that idea is not surprising when we experience children in our lives and understand the overwhelming emotions that come with them. Understanding that many of our friends—through choice or biology or accident—are not blessed with children, we nonetheless marvel at the miracle of life, both at birth and throughout the growth process.
Watching our children, and one day our children’s children, is a reminder of so much of how God works in the world. God is creator, and we see the creation process unfold in our children. God is redeemer, and we see our children make mistakes and honestly seek forgiveness and grow beyond their childlike mistakes. God is sustainer, and we breathlessly watch our children change and become and maintain. God is comforter, and we watch our children hurt and recover. God is guide, and we see our children find their paths and move, as it were, out of the nest.
In our church families, we are blessed with the next generation. Notwithstanding the handprints on the walls and the crying in the worship service, we understand not only that the children are the future of our churches but also that our children give us a ready-made opportunity to practice our acts of witness and service and mercy.
We teach our children and lead them to the baptismal waters. We serve them juice and cookies, and before we know it, we serve them by driving them to retreats and answering their questions of eternal significance. We show mercy as they fail and as they hurt and as they need. We learn from our children, for we as the church must surely witness and serve and show mercy to a world that needs us.
Children are indeed a blessing.
The kingdom belongs to such as these (Matthew 19:13-15)
What did Jesus mean? What is it about children that defines those to whom the kingdom belongs?
Children are innocent. So too, we whose sins have been washed away are guiltless before the Father.
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Children are unpretentious. They don’t come to Christ with agendas or extraneous requirements. They simply come to him because he is Lord, and they want to be with him.
Children are honest. They want to come to Christ. They approach the messiah with integrity, recognizing he has what they want and what they need.
Children are simple. They do not seek a complicated set of qualifications, deeds done or resume entries before approaching Christ. They just come.
Children are trusting. They come to Christ without knowing what he will say or command or even where e might take them.
The relationship between children and parents (Ephesians 6:1-4)
These verses are of such familiarity that we can miss their power.
Children are to obey their parents “in the Lord.” This command presupposes their parents are “in the Lord.” As the fathers and mothers lead their children in the way of Christ, children are to follow. Honoring parents in this way claims a promise that “it may be well” with the child. This promise is not a literal guarantee of many days of breathing but rather an understanding that the family relationship is fundamental to experiencing the best creation has for us. As parents lead children well, and as these children follow, Christ can work “well” in lives that ultimately find Christ’s free gift of eternal life.
Obedience of parents is modeled, of course, on our obedience of God. We follow God because he is our father. The perfect father need not explain every step we have to take—instead, we follow simply because we trust. If our children obey us because they know we have their best interests at heart and because we are “in the Lord,” they are on the road to understanding how they will follow God.
The responsibility is not all on the children. On the flip side, we parents are not to “provoke” our children to anger. Discipline does not require anger and ill will. Parents who are leading their children in the Lord do so in a manner that mirrors the discipline and care that God shows for his own children.
Instruction, discipline, modeling obedience and leadership are privileges we have, and once again we return to Psalm 128—what a blessing it is to have and know our children!
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