BaptistWay Bible Series for October 23: Heal strained relationships

Have you ever been accused of something you did not do? The accusation involved your character, so what you were accused of doing was not just something you did wrong, but your perceived action revealed a flaw in your life. How should you react to such a situation?

The Apostle Paul was involved in just such a situation in his relationship with the church at Corinth. Believers in the church held views about Paul that were negative and erroneous. In 2 Corinthians 1:12-2:13, Paul went about setting the record, his record, straight.

Evidently, some in Corinth accused Paul of being double-minded. He had told the church in Corinth of his travel plans to visit, but then he did not follow through with his plans. In fact, his change in plans ultimately did involve a visit, but Paul described that trip as a “painful visit” which further strained his relationship with the church.

Paul began defending himself with boasting. That comes across as odd, but Paul would show the Corinthians how God kept his pride in check in 2 Corinthians 12:1-10. Paul’s boast was that his conscious was clear. In the matters at hand, he believed he was innocent of all charges. In fact, he had acted with the utmost holiness and sincerity in devotion to God, and it was God who enabled him to do so. Ultimately, Paul told the Corinthians he looked forward to the day when they could boast about him the way he boasted about the Corinthians.

Next, Paul explained how his travel plans had changed after writing 1 Corinthians. Such an explanation was necessary, since the Corinthians must have thought Paul had broken his promise to them. In verse 17, he noted his plans were not made lightly or as a person saying “yes” and “no” at the same time. His confidence in his attitude led Paul to swear by God that his word was consistent.

With verses 19-22, Paul did not give the reason for his changed plans. Instead, his reference to God’s faithfulness led him to describe how God faithfully fulfilled his promises. Paul implied that God’s ministers also were faithful to keep their promises, and he was just such a minister. He was faithful to keep his promises. These verses advanced Paul’s defense in that even if his travel plans changed, God’s faithfulness did not, and the message of Christ proclaimed to the Corinthians was true (v. 19).

In 2 Corinthians 1:23-2:4, Paul gave the reason for changing his travel plans. He wanted to avoid another “painful visit” to the church. Such a visit would have necessitated some form of apostolic judgment upon the church, so Paul wanted to give the Corinthians time to change their attitudes toward him.

At this point (2 Corinthians 2:5-11), the reader of 2 Corinthians sees some partial reason for the trouble at Corinth and for Paul’s painful visit. A member of the church evidently has stirred up opposition against Paul. This person’s actions have hurt Paul, and these actions have hurt the church. The strained relationship between Paul and the Corinthian church served as solid evidence to the harm this individual’s actions caused.

In Paul’s absence, the church had punished the man for his actions. This unidentified punishment was sufficient for Paul to tell the church to forgive the man and restore him. Failure to do so could result in this person’s “excessive sorrow.” Paul knew Satan would target such a sorrowful individual for his devilish schemes.

The issue Paul faced with the Corinthian church concerned his travel plans. In verses 12-13, he resumed his line of thought from verse 4 and continued to speak about his travels. The purpose for the travels was “to preach the gospel of Christ.” Here, Paul continued his defense of his travels by reminding the Corinthians of his purpose, spreading the gospel. While in Troas, he was so concerned about the situation in Corinth that he cut short his visit; even though, the Lord had opened a door for him to proclaim Christ.

How should believers handle strained relations with others? The starting point is to live with a clear conscious, as Paul did. Make sure your walk with the Lord is where it should be. A strong walk with the Lord provides confidence in life, especially when having to handle a strained relationship.

Next, take the initiative to contact the other party. When initiating conversation, simply describe how you see the relationship and how it shows signs of strain. Explain your viewpoint as clearly and concisely as possible, all the while being fair in what you say.

You should be sure to allow the other party an opportunity to explain the other side of the story. Conflicts can be quickly diffused when all of the parties involved feel they have been heard. Paul certainly had heard from the Corinthian church. That is why he was addressing the issue.

Also, be gracious and forgiving to those who have admitted their errors and shown repentance. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone desires to be treated with grace and forgiveness.

If the strained relationship does not improve, continue to seek reconciliation. Paul did not give up on the Corinthians. Notice he gave them time to change their attitudes. Sometimes seeking reconciliation involves giving time for the other party to change and for healing to occur.

Finally, the goal for everyone in all situations is the spread of the gospel. Seek restoration in strained relationships, so you can get back to telling others about salvation in Jesus Christ.