BaptistWay Bible Series for September 18: Be Christian, whether married or single

Several years ago, I preached a sermon and used the term “sex.” A young child heard me say the word and proceeded to tell his mother the pastor had said, “Sex!” Naturally, his voice resounded off of the walls of the worship center, and everyone in attendance heard the word, again. Churches need to address the topics of marriage, sex and singleness. They do a better job with marriage and singleness, but sex still is a difficult issue that seems foreign in church jargon.

Of course, the church has something to say on the topic, but at the same time, it seems there is no place in society where a refuge from sex may be found. Sex is on television, in magazines, on billboards, in news stories, social media, etc. Obviously, noone can effectively “look away” from such a plethora of images.

The Apostle Paul wrote to a real church when he penned 1 Corinthians, a church that had real life issues. Timeless issues. His words were equally timeless, and they continue to speak to the modern church with the same appropriate honesty that calls believers to live in a way pleasing to God.

Paul answered specific questions posed to him by the Corinthians. Unfortunately, what Paul said can be interpreted in various ways. Thus, dogmatism should be avoided.

The “s” word
What can we know for certain about what Paul was trying to tell the Corinthians?
First, sex is for married couples only. Sex outside of marriage is considered to be sin. Is this legalism? No. Followers of Jesus simply understand the sanctity and specialness of marriage. Sex outside of marriage violates the covenant of marriage and creates harm for all of the individuals involved.

In 1 Corinthians 7:2-5, Paul spoke directly about sex in marriage. He noted each partner has an obligation in the marital relationship, an obligation that spouses must be dedicated to each other.

A healthy sex life in marriage will involve communication. Expectations, desires, beliefs and even times of abstinence must be discussed. In this way, the intimacy of the marital relationship will grow.

Although premarital sex and affairs may be more prevalent than just a decade or two ago, Christians hold to a higher moral standard. That standard is at all times to live a life pleasing to the Lord. Here is an area in which Christians must stand in distinct contrast to much of society.

Single, married, divorced
Today, many singles in society feel treated like second-class citizens. Even in church, some feel like second-rate believers. Two unasked questions appear wedded to one another. “Why aren’t you married?” “What’s wrong with you?”

Paul thought there was nothing wrong with being single (vv.7-8). He believed being single had benefits.

The attachments to the world are decreased by being single. There is no spouse or marital relationship needing attention. There is no need to check with one’s mate concerning significant decisions. There is no partner to please.

Instead, an unmarried person can focus more energy and effort on the “Lord’s affairs” (v. 32). The time spent on tending the marriage instead can be spent on serving God. The single can make plans on a whim without regard about checking with a spouse. More time can be given in total dedication to kingdom work.

Anyone should be willing to live the single life. Christ and Christ alone is all that is needed in life, but not all can live this way. Some are called to be single, as noted by Jesus in Matthew 19:11-12. Others will choose to marry and are called to that station in life.

Marriage was instituted in the Garden of Eden. God planned for one man and one woman to come together in a relationship and form a family. The joy of an intimate relationship with another human is a blessing from God.

Of course, the marital relationship takes work. An intimate and vital relationship just does not happen on its own. Each spouse must put in physical, emotional, mental and spiritual work into the relationship. It is easier to dig a ditch with a hand shovel than to make a happy marriage, but the results are well worth it.

Naturally, this effort on the marriage could have been used in service to God. This does not mean married people hold a lesser position to singles. God instituted marriage, so that was part of his plan from the beginning.

In verses 10-11, Paul mentioned leaving one’s spouse. In the context, he was addressing divorce. He said instead of divorce, one must make reconciliation the goal of the relationship. If reconciliation is not possible, then the only option left would be the single lifestyle.

This teaching will pique the attention of many with the prevalence of divorce in society. Can a Christian ever divorce? What about the supposed except clause of Jesus in Matthew 5:32?

Perhaps the best way to reconcile Paul and Jesus is to acknowledge they were not seeking to address every circumstance. Still, one teaching should be clear. Both Jesus and Paul indicate divorce was too prevalent. The same is true today.

Paul summarized his teaching succinctly in 1 Corinthians 7:17. Believers should live life in the position to which God has called them to live. This life pleases God. So, whether single, married, or divorced, all have the same goal in life: live pleasing to God.