LifeWay Bible Studies for Life Series for May 9: I take you

My wife and I celebrated 29 years of marriage April 25. To celebrate, we went to a favorite restaurant for dinner. In the course of conversation, we shared with our server, who was 31, we were celebrating our anniversary. When we told him how long we had been married, he seemed shocked. After a moment he said, “I don’t see many people who have been married that long!”

Traditional marriage is under attack. From the attempt to define marriage in terms of alternate lifestyles to increase in serial monogamy to the number of couples choosing to live together, the concept of a lifelong commitment to a spouse clearly is waning. Even when the standards of the world change, the word of God and the admonitions it contains concerning traditional marriage remain.

When 1+1 = 1 (Genesis 2:23-25)

When God created Eve, Scripture says he took a rib from Adam’s side (Genesis 2:21). It was a constant reminder of the physical oneness of a man and a woman. Adam recognized the significance of God’s action and makes his own proclamation of the two becoming one (v. 23). It is apparent, however, the relationship Adam and Eve shared ran much deeper than physical oneness.

As the description of this first married couple continues, the idea of emancipation enters becomes prevalent. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother to be united to his wife,” (v. 24) indicates an emotional element of a marriage relationship. It is a clear shift from familial relationships. While not a part of this text, it is obvious the same emotional commitment exists for the wife.

The only other “person” present when this first marriage commitment takes place completes the idea of the “two become one flesh” (v. 24). It was God himself who presided over this first wedding. Marriage has an unmistakable element of spiritual commitment.

When a man and a woman are united in marriage, a marvelous, yet mysterious event occurs, “they will become one flesh” (v. 24). While not possible mathematically, 1+1 + 1. It is the very idea of becoming one that should make the marriage commitment a permanent commitment. How can something so carefully fused together ever be successfully divided?

Covenant connection (Malachi 2:13-15)

God’s thoughts on marriage did not stop with the Genesis story. Malachi 2 introduces the concept of marriage as a covenant relationship. Throughout human history, God has offered man the opportunity to experience a covenant. Covenants are agreements where two parties agree to perform in certain ways regarding the other’s benefit. Here a man and a woman enter into a covenant where each acts as one flesh through faithfully carrying through their commitment to remain one.

Two interesting ideas concerning the permanence of marriage are developed in this passage. First, there is the idea of God’s interest in marriages. Malachi says, “the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth” (v. 14). God literally is watching over the relationship of every married couple. This should cement the spiritual nature of marriage. The second idea is God’s strong condemnation of dissolving a marriage. In some of the strongest language used in the Old Testament God says, “I hate divorce” (v. 16). Divorce is never acceptable to God.

How does one successfully complete the marriage covenant? Two times Malachi says, “guard yourself in your spirit and do not break faith” (v. 16). The word “guard” carries the connotation of a sentry placed to protect. Marriage needs a guard to protect the relationship a couple shares through a marriage covenant. God is so interested in maintaining marriage he offers to be the sentry.

Lifelong commitment (Matthew 19:3-12)

Lest the previous concepts of marriage be considered mere Old Testament law, Jesus speaks to the issue in Matthew 19. In response to the questions of the Pharisees concerning divorce, Jesus confirms the ideas of Genesis and Malachi. As a matter of fact, Jesus quotes the Genesis 2 passage. He then adds and additional element pertinent to the lifelong commitment of marriage, “Therefore, what God has joined together let no man separate” (v. 6).

These words of Jesus often have been viewed in the context of a third party entering the relationship between a man and a woman to become the cause of dissolution. Jesus uses a passive voice meaning a man in and of himself should not desire to divorce his wife.

The Pharisees, always the antagonists for Jesus, bring up the law and it’s provisions for divorce. Jesus quickly dismisses the argument explaining the permit for divorce rests in the “hard hearts” (v. 8) of men, not in the law. Once again, the ideas of the permanence of marriage and the spiritual nature of marriage are the central themes.

Jesus does provide an encouraging word for those who never marry. It appears from the words of the Lord that there will be those who do not marry, “because of the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 19:12). As with previous lesson, a person can be complete and productive for God’s purposes by remaining single.

Conclusion

Marriage should never be entered into lightly.  God regards marriage as the highest human institution.  It has always been God’s will. for one man and one woman to enter into a lifelong covenant agreement with each other and with him.  A great deal of thought, soul searching and prayer must precede, “I take you.”