Single mom moves from homeless to hopeful in Houston

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HOUSTON—An abusive relationship and drug dependency forced Wendi Hay and her four daughters into homelessness. But Buckner Family Place helped them find a way out.

Hay and her daughters—Kira, Ajsa, Angel and Shauna—were living in Alabama when their domestic situation became so bad, she had to call 9-1-1 several nights in a row.

Wendi Hay and her four daughters–8-year-old Kira, 6-year-old twins Ajsa and Angel and 5-year-old Shauna–enjoy time together inside their apartment at Buckner Family Place in Houston. (PHOTO/Lauren Sturdy/Buckner International)

"The police officer said, 'Ma'am, we can't keep doing this,'" Hay recalled. "And he said, 'Why don't you pack your stuff up and leave and just never come back?' No one had ever said that to me. When you're in a bad relationship, you don't realize you have that choice."

She and her daughters initially moved to her brother's home in Florida but quickly realized his situation was similar to the one she fled.

She acknowledged it was exactly what her own mother experienced, and she became determined to break the generational curse.

After several months in a homeless shelter, Hay felt God pointing her to Houston. She rented a car and packed up pillows, blankets, books and the girls. She had about $400. She didn't know what she would do once she got to Texas. She just knew she had to get there.

In Houston, Hay discovered Star of Hope, a Christian homeless ministry that gave her a place to live and put her on the road to recovery. But she still dealt with emotional issues. She stayed there almost three years.

When Buckner partnered with Star of Hope to provide services to single parents, Hay was the first participant in the newly established Family Place program.


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Family Place is a self-sufficiency program that provides housing and supportive services for single-parent families while parents pursue their education full-time.

Hay already was working toward an associate degree in business management at Houston Com-munity College. She moved into an apartment with her girls and started case management and supportive counseling with Carie Downie, Houston Family Place program coordinator.

"What I appreciate about Wendi is that she's always striving to be better, to see how she can do things differently," Downie said. "There's no sense of entitlement or that anyone owes her anything. She just knows she needs help, and she's grateful for it."

The Houston program started in July 2011 and now has eight families enrolled. Buckner staff hope to have 12 families in the near future.

Within the first six months, Downie saw tangible success in families.

"Family Place provides many things for families in need, but above all, what we're providing is hope and a sense of relief. A lot of these families have lived in homelessness, and there's so much stress and uncertainty in those situations. … If we can help them believe that they can achieve beyond what they ever thought they could, and we can move them toward that, then that's a huge success."

Hay is in her fourth semester at community college and plans to finish her degree this summer. She has a 4.0 GPA, an impressive feat considering her full course load, a job and four little girls with homework every night.

She found a program for low-income families that would allow her to get her bachelor's degree from Rice University without going into debt. She hopes to apply when she finishes community college studies.

Not only has Hay improved in her academic and vocational life, but her parenting skills and response to anger have changed. Instead of reacting in anger, she has found ways to communicate effectively with her daughters, such as holding family meetings and having prayer time.

"A lot of the family meetings are talking about my be-havior and things that I'm trying to overcome," she said. "I'll explain to them that I still have things going on, and I'm trying to control it. And I'm trying to communicate that to them so they don't feel like it's something wrong with them. I talk to them, I ask for forgiveness and we pray about it."

Her homeless experience has let her minister to others in her community. In fact, in the few blocks she walks to get from school to work, there are several homeless shelters.

She stops to talk to people, to get to know their stories, to pray for them. She knows her homelessness happened for a reason. It's been her calling, she said.

"There are not enough words to say how I feel about what everybody's done for me," Hay said. "I guess the main thing I express to people who help me is this: You've got to understand that you're not just helping me. You're not just helping my children. You have helped to change the curses from my family. You have helped to be a part of transformation. The dynamics of giving are absolutely amazing. You start helping others, and then it's a ripple effect. You're changing the world."


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