Richard Ray: Cultivate pastoral friendships that grow into eternal relationships

This week, I am reminded of how important fellowship is, especially to those who are called to serve as pastors of God’s church. Regardless of the size of the church you may serve, the pastorate can be a very isolated position. We all have been in a room full of people but felt completely alone. The reasons for feeling this way are real, and no amount of church fellowship can change that.

Richard RayHowever, when pastors get together with fellow pastors to visit, whether it be over a meal, on the golf course or in each other’s home, there is a since of relaxation and restoration that takes place. This relaxation and restoration does not happen over a single cup of coffee or one round of golf, but only when these fellowships are allowed to develop over time.

Let me share with you how pastors get to a stage where they can relax and be restored in their ministries. We all know what happens when pastors get together to visit. They talk about church. They discuss their victories and their struggles, and they share membership and baptism numbers. That is the first visit. During the second visit, pastors begin to discuss their glory days of college and seminary and their first church. In the third visit, pastors begin to talk about their families and how they want to spend more time with them. By the fourth visit, the conversation turns to life in general, whether a hobby, an activity they just experienced or a restaurant where they ate. It is during this visit that relaxation and restoration begin to take root as the seeds of friendship are planted. These types of friendships enable pastors to serve the Lord in ways they never could have imagined.

When God calls someone into the ministry, he never means for them to serve alone. He encourages us to build friendships with those with similar callings. As a pastor or minister for Christ, I encourage you to build those friendships of faith and let those friendships grow into relationships that will last for eternity. Every pastor needs to be able to laugh, cry and celebrate life with others. Every pastor needs to be able to seek counsel and comfort during times of distress. A successful pastor is one who has friendships that will encourage him and edify him in every way.

It is my prayer that you have such friends and that you are such a friend. Fellowship with your church family is so important in the life of your church, but fellowship with your fellow servants of Christ also is so very important in your own life and in the life of your family. If you feel isolated and alone, I urge you to reach out to your fellow pastors and begin the process of building friendships that will follow you wherever God leads you.

In next week’s article, you will read from the heart of a minister’s wife. Remember, God has called you to serve, but God has not called you to serve alone. Let us be your advocate, your resource, and your prayer partner as you fulfill your calling. Until next time, please visit our website. 

Richard Ray is executive director of the Bivocational/Small Church Association and director of missions for the Tri-Rivers Baptist Area. You can reach him at [email protected].