EDITORIAL: Podcasts, preaching & pornography

Thanks to podcasts and streaming video, many Christians have become connoisseurs of preaching. In a surprising number of churches, this has resulted in discontent, not unlike the marital maelstrom produced when their fellow church members become preoccupied by prodigious amounts of another web-delivered product.

I’m talking about pornography. Hear me out.

Pastors and counselors confirm porn is sadly and shockingly prevalent, even in Christians’ homes, and it wreaks havoc on wedlock. Too often, they’re asked to mend marriages after one partner—usually the husband; sometimes the wife—has descended into smut. Many aspects of porn are harmful. We could discuss how it objectifies and degrades people created in God’s image. We could consider how it fuels sex trafficking and leads to other crime. But porn particularly harms marriages by simulating sur-real fantasy and setting unrealistic expectations. Normal people don’t look like porn stars. Their bodies don’t defy the laws of genetics and/or physics. Most married couples don’t have sex like porn stars—in either frequency, physical positions or exotic locations.

So, when a spouse starts expecting sex to mirror a porn mirage, the marriage is in trouble. Real life can’t compete with chimera. Attempts to insert porn fantasy into a real marriage often result in anger, estrangement and even terror.

Besides everything else that’s wrong with it, pornography is problematic because it’s so unrealistic. And that’s where the comparison to preaching comes along.

Thanks to technology, the best preaching on the planet is available to practically everyone, practically everywhere. Many serious Christians listen to sermons on their computers or their handheld devices. This is wonderful for nurture and inspiration. Great preaching often leads to great faith, as well as to works of astounding courage, commitment and compassion.

The problem develops when church members start wanting, and sometimes demanding, their pastor preach as well as their favorite proclaimers. That’s no more fair or logical than a husband who watches porn expecting his wife to look, dress and make love like a starlet.

Three reasons:

• When you choose a mate or call a pastor, you make the best decision you can (and if you’re a Christian, theoretically, you pray about it and seek God’s guidance), and then you move forward faithfully in light of that decision.

• It’s presumptuous to expect more than you deliver. Most people who want a porn star for a spouse don’t look like one, either. And most people who want a world-class preacher aren’t necessarily world-class church members themselves.

• And it’s not what it seems. Pornography wouldn’t be nearly so popular without surgical enhancements, make-believe sets, flattering lighting and digital editing. That’s a far cry from the real life of birthing babies, raising kids, holding down jobs and making ends meet. This is a crude comparison, but what you can’t see behind a sermon is kind of like the difference between porn and marriage. Sure, the podcast preacher is gifted. But quite likely, his job is structured so he spends most of his time preparing to preach. He may even have a researcher who helps him find those gripping illustrations. No wonder his sermons are splendid. Meanwhile, your preacher is marrying and burying, visiting the sick, looking after the elderly, consulting with committees, counseling the bereaved or confused, working with staff and keeping your too-human church going.

Every metaphor breaks down, and I see a flaw in this one. Listening to sermons is good for you; watching porn is not. But neither is setting unrealistic expectations for pastors. Most admit they could and should preach better.

I’ll choose a durable marriage over sexual fantasy any time. And I’ll thank God for pastors who work hard at preaching and also walk beside church members through all life’s challenges.

–Marv Knox is editor of the Baptist Standard. Visit his FaithWorks Blog.