If you keep up with this column, you know my younger daughter, Molly, plans to get married this summer.
Life has been a whirlwind, at least since last Oct. 24. That’s when David arranged for his mom and dad, Ruth and Lynne, as well as Joanna and me, to be hiding in the bushes in front of Baylor University’s Pat Neff Hall, at just the time he and Molly strolled down the sidewalk.
David bent down on one knee and asked the question that changed all our lives. Molly said yes. They kissed. (My “baby” kissed a man!) And we hugged and cried and told each other how happy we were.
That was the easy part. Next came what should be known in the wedding trade as “the logistics.” The wedding is slightly less than five months away, but Team Molly already has—not necessarily in this order—(1) ordered a wedding dress, (2) purchased the bridesmaids’ dresses, (3) reserved the church, (4) confirmed the site of the rehearsal dinner, (5) registered for all the great stuff friends and family will give them at the wedding or showers in Lewisville and Fort Worth, (6) posed for engagement pictures, (7) hired a photographer for wedding pictures, (8) ordered the bride’s and groom’s cakes, (9) secured a caterer for the reception, (10) found a florist and (11) lined up a preacher to “tie the knot.”
No. 11 would be me. Molly and David asked me to marry them, and I am thrilled. This is not as risky as it sounds. A little more than four years ago, I performed the wedding ceremony for Lindsay, Molly’s big sister, and Aaron, Lindsay’s husband. We got through that wedding and, contrary to popular expectation, I did not bawl. In fact, I managed to marry them up proper, and my friends who know me to be a sappy dad probably lost bets on that wedding. This time around, I predict that, once again, I will maintain my composure (so as to refrain from attracting attention away from the bride) and arrive at the “I now pronounce you …” part in fine order.
The problem with a daughter asking her dad to perform her wedding is figuring out who the excited couple will see for marriage counseling.
Marriage counseling is very important, because people do not inherently know how to be married. They can figure out how to get married, but then the complications begin. All the communicating, compromising and conflict-managing required for a healthy marriage do not come naturally. So, young couples need some pointers.
The father of the bride is not the guy to do it.
One reason is because the father of the bride just wants to tell the groom, “Do everything she tells you, Son, and your life will be all right,” but that’s not good marriage counseling. A second reason is because the counselor should advise the couple about sex, and the father of the bride wants to talk to them about that even less than the happy couple wants to hear it.
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