“Your father has killed the calf we were fattening and has prepared a great feast to celebrate his coming home again (homecoming) unharmed.” (Luke 15:27)

Kathy HillmanFootball, homecomings and chrysanthemums overrun Texas every fall. Unlike Thomas Wolfe, who wrote You Can’t Go Home Again, most apparently believe, with the prodigal son, you can. Otherwise, why would thousands make annual treks to high schools and colleges for parades, pep rallies, tailgates, football games and a myriad of other traditions? Christian universities often add religious services. Howard Payne University includes the opportunity to renew wedding vows in Grace Chapel every few years. Baylor University hosts Singspiration.

Several colleges—including Baylor, Southwestern, Illinois and Missouri—claim to have hosted the first homecoming celebration. Of course, Texas Baptists favor the Baylor declaration. 

Homecoming gathering at Columbus Avenue Baptist Church in Waco, circa 1950. The woman on the far right is Kathy Hillman’s great aunt Lois Mitchell Newton. (Photo courtesy of the Texas Collection at Baylor University)However, one Texas-proud assertion seems indisputable—the invasion of the “bigger is better” homecoming mum and garter. Our daughter, Holly, experienced mom mum trauma as seventh-grader Gilbert informed her Wednesday night after church he invited a girl to sit with him at homecoming on Friday and needed a “cool mum.”

No one knows when “official” homecomings began, but they didn’t involve pep rallies or football. They included Sunday preaching, singing—often “Leaning on the Everlasting Arms”—dinner on the grounds and Saturday spent cleaning the church cemetery. 

Kirby Rogers of Cinco Ranch High School in Katy and Abigail Anderson of Seven Lake High School in Katy, both members of Tallowood Church in Houston, display their mum and garter. By tradition, only seniors are allowed to wear gold ones. (Photo courtesy of Laura Bailey Rogers)Homecoming can be traced to communion gatherings in late 18th and early 19th century Scotland. Frontier Protestants returned to their birth congregations to observe milestones. Some involved camp meetings. Rural African-American churches celebrated homecomings, sometimes called Family and Friends Day, before the turn of the 20th century.

Commemorations continue. Independence Baptist Church recognized its 175th anniversary in 2011, and Union Baptist Association followed in 2015. 

Homecomings connect and reconnect. They affirm God’s faithfulness, reaffirm loyalty and belief, reinforce community and unity, and renew faith in the face of everyday life. Just as high school and college homecomings draw students and alumni closer, church homecomings draw believers closer to God, the church and each other.

Every year, Texas Baptists celebrate homecoming. Nov. 8-10, we’ll gather in Frisco for the 2015 Baptist General Convention of Texas annual meeting, just as we have since 1886. Joel Gregory, Taylor Sandlin and Ralph West will come home to bring inspiring sermons. The 2015 homecoming game at Midway High School in Waco. (Photo courtesy of Rebekah North)Current officers will offer a missions message. Combined church choirs and Hardin-Simmons University’s Concert Choir will add worship music. Dallas Baptist University’s Grand Chorus will present selections from “Experiencing God: The Musical,” which it will sing at DBU’s homecoming worship service Nov. 20. Tuesday evening, the Singing Men of Texas will give a 40th anniversary concert.

The theme, “Deep Roots … Living Legacy,” echoes homecoming traditions of reconnecting with founding principles and connecting with the future. We’ll rejoice through worship, exhibits, workshops and fellowship. We’ll draw closer to God as we consider Colossians 2:6-7, “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives for him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught and overflowing with thankfulness.”

We’ll examine Baptist beliefs as listed by the 1994 BGCT Baptist Distinctives Committee:

• Authority of the BibleTanner Henry and Emily North at the 2015 homecoming game at Midway High School in Waco. (Photo courtesy of Rebekah North)

• Autonomy of the local congregation of believers

• Believer’s baptism and church membership

• Congregational church government

• Deity and lordship of Jesus Christ

• Evangelism and missions: The Great Commission

• Religious freedom and separation of church and state

• Salvation only by grace through faith

• Security of the believer

• Soul competency and priesthood of the believer

• Symbolic understanding of baptism and the Lord’s Supper

• Voluntary cooperation among churches.

As outstanding alumni participate in school homecomings, outstanding Baptists will lead workshops covering the distinctives. Current and past BGCT executive directors Bill Pinson (1983-2000), Charles Wade (2000-08), Randal Everett (2008-12) and David Hardage (2012-present) will provide keys to Baptist identity. Winners of the high school essay and college/seminary sermon contests will share their entries.

Independence Baptist Church dinner on the grounds. (Kathy Hillman Photo)Other presenters include Dennis Wiles, Paul Powell, Todd Still, Nora Lozano, Julio Guarneri, Carol Holcomb, Bruce Gourley, Jennifer Hawks, Stacy Conner, Ellen DiGiosia, Stephen Stookey, Jennifer Bashaw, Trent Blackley, Emily Prevost, John Litzler, Shelley Melia, Judy Morris, Wayne Graham, Meredith Stone and a panel of minister spouses.

Come home and join us for homecoming Texas Baptist style. There won’t be parades, pep rallies, queens, football or massive mums except in floral arrangements. But there will be opportunities to affirm God’s faithfulness, reinforce community and unity, reaffirm loyalty and belief and renew faith. Allow this homecoming to draw us closer to God, the church and one another as we seek “to touch the people of this state with the Great Commandment and to impact Texas, and beyond, with the Great Commission.”

For more information, click here. 

Kathy Hillman is president of the Baptist General Convention of Texas. She also is director of Baptist collections, library advancement and the Keston Center for Religion, Politics and Society at Baylor University.

As a father of five children, I know a lot about expectations. From the moment they were born, I had high expectations for them.

Richard RayI expected them to succeed and find happiness in this world. I expected them to grow up in a Christian home where they would find Christ as Savior. I expected them to find a wonderful spouse with whom they would raise a family of their own. I even had day-to-day expectations for them, whether it was completing their chores, getting good grades or performing well at various activities. 

As parents, we all have expectation for our children as they grow up. Now with that said, my children did not always succeed to my high expectations, just as I am sure I did not reach the expectations of my own parents. Therefore, what are we to do when our children let us down, when they do not succeed as we had hoped or when they take a different road than we had laid out for them? 

We must look at our children as God looks at us. 1 John 3:1 says, “See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are!” When my children do not meet my expectations, I often come to this verse to remind myself that as a child of God, I, too, have not met the expectations of my heavenly Father. Then I have to ask myself, “What is God’s expectation of me?” 

As a child of God saved by his grace, God expects me to bear good fruit. God expects me to be a “doer of the word,” as James 1:22 says: “But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.” It is here I find my answer. I am not called to set expectations for myself, for my children or for others. My expectations are not God’s expectations. I am called to raise my children as unto the Lord, to teach them with both words and deeds, to fulfill God’s expectation for them. I am called to love my children as Christ loves me and gave himself for me. When I set expectations for my children, I am fooling myself. 

Therefore, I leave the job of setting expectations of my children, others and myself to God. For God says in Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” As a parent, I desire that my children have a future and a hope. 

I cannot think of a greater expectation than this. If I will be a doer of the word and bear fruit by striving to live up to the expectation of my heavenly Father, then this earthly father will see his children succeed in following after the heart of God. My only expectations for my children should be the expectations I have for myself, and that is to fulfill God’s expectation of me. 

God himself has set expectations. As parents, let us demonstrate lives that strive to meet those expectations so as to encourage our children to meet them as well. 

Until next time, remember the Lord has called you to serve, but he has not called you to serve alone. Visit our website, www.bivocational.com, for more information on how the Bivocational/Small Church Association can minister and serve you.

Richard Ray is executive director of the Bivocational/Small Church Association and director of missions for the Tri-Rivers Baptist Area. You can reach him at brother_ray@juno.com.

Every Wednesday presents an emotional challenge for me. On Wednesdays, I lead a Bible study followed by a couple of discipleship sessions, and then I help out at my local church with the youth. 

Alexandra GrandaI love Wednesdays, but at the same time as soon as I wake up, I’m ready for the day to end. Sometimes negative thoughts of how incapable I am and doubts about my self-worth resound in my head, especially when I am tired. But then I am reminded, “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the powers of this dark world and spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:12).

During one of my discipleship sessions, I was talking to a student who is having struggles with her family. She has been exposed to problems with her uncle that are affecting the way her family runs, and as a result, her family is falling apart. The only thing that has sustained her is her faith, trusting that God will do his ultimate will. 

When students come to me with their situations and tell me all their problems I am reminded I can’t just counsel them. First of all, I am unequipped. I have many flaws, I can be quick to judge, I am not a patient person, and I naturally tend to avoid those situations. But seeing this young woman break down made me want to hug her. I really didn’t have anything to say, but, thankfully, God did. God brought to my mind the words of James 1:2-3: “Consider it pure joy… whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”

I believe there is an urgency to learn and memorize Scripture. There is nothing greater than to stand firm in what God has to say, and knowing Scripture is a reminder of who God is and who we are. Hebrews 4:12 says: “For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edge sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow.” 

This week, I was reminded all my personal thoughts and any advice I could give to students will never as good as what God has to say to them. “All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training others in all righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16).

Alexandra Granda is serving with Go Now Missions as a campus missionary intern at the Baptist Student Ministry at the University of Texas-Rio Grande Valley.

It saddens me when I read articles like “National Commission on Hunger heard directly from hungry people.” Texas has such a large hunting industry and so many natural resources that aren’t being utilized. 

Our non-profit, Hunters for Good, encourages wild-game donations by not requiring hunters and game ranches pay processing fees for donated animals. We are doing what we can with what we have but could do so much more with the proper funding. 

Please keep this option in mind as discussions continue about food insecurity in Texas. 

John Wilton, president and executive director

Hunters for Good

Frisco

Seeing Jesus is a powerful image in the New Testament.

For example, Matthew 25:37-40 says: “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry, and feed you, or thirsty, and give you something to drink? And when did we see you a stranger, and invite you in, or naked, and clothe you? When did we see you sick, or in prison, and come to you?’ George BullardThe King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of mine, even the least of them, you did it to me.’”

Following Jesus requires not only vision with our eyes, but also vision with our full senses. It is not just literally seeing an object. It is seeing an opportunity. It is not just about your eyesight. It is also about your experience. 

Your church needs vision, or it may not be able to see and fully experience Jesus.

Every congregation needs vision. It is not optional. Why? Because vision will empower the forward progress of your congregation and allow you to see the Jesus potential in people. Without vision, many congregations tread water, seeking to avoid drowning. Many congregations are blind to the hungry, thirsty, stranger, naked, sick and imprisoned.

God’s vision

Your church may need vision, but for up to 80 percent of all congregations, it is an unmet need. It eludes them. They make programmatic or financial success their vision, not realizing these are not the substance of a vision from God.

Some congregations believe vision is being healthy, which partially is true. Some congregations believe vision is having a successful program that attracts young adult families, which partially is true.

Some congregations believe vision is about growing numerically, which at times is a side benefit of a clear, empowering vision. Some congregations believe vision is about becoming missional, which is a great characteristic of many congregations with vision.

At the risk of being accused of spiritualizing this issue—as if that were a bad thing—every congregation needs God’s vision. Every pastor needs God’s vision. Anything less than God’s vision is inadequate.

Not the same as the pastors’ vision

Notice I did not say your pastor needs vision, although this also is true. Pastors need vision for their life and ministry. Pastors need the empowerment of vision in their lives. A pastor’s vision—even for the congregation—and the vision congregations need are not always the same thing. God’s vision for your congregation is always the best vision.

Some years ago, I spoke to ministry leaders in a regional denominational organization. The executive director came to me at the end and said, “How do congregations develop vision?”

Many congregations cannot figure out vision. They know they need one, but they do not know how to get there. They believe there is a simple formula that will produce vision. That generally is not the case.

Perhaps vision is part of God’s grace gift to us and not a series of steps or deeds that produce vision. This would mean vision is not something we can earn or an exercise we complete. It is a grace gift of God we discern.

Too many times, congregations see vision as organizational. That is unfortunate, because congregations are an organism and not an organization. They see the pithy mottos some businesses have. Or they see the well-developed professional visions cast by large congregations or large Christian ministry organizations.

Then they say, “We need one of those!” My response is, “Yes and maybe.”

Questions for your congregation:

• Is it possible your congregation actually understands the need for vision but is trying too hard to acquire vision? Perhaps a better approach is seeing Jesus in the interactions of the congregation and in the faces of the people to whom God is sending you.

• Has your congregation brought secular organizational success perspectives into the church by seeing vision as the success of programs and the fulfillment of your budget goal? Certainly these can be positive vital signs, but are they truly a vision from God for a spiritual organism?

• Does your congregation want to avoid its responsibility to be captivated by God’s vision by saying it is the pastor’s responsibility to provide vision? Do you want your pastor to go up on a mountain or into the Holy of Holies and come down or out with vision?

George Bullard is president of The Columbia Partnership, general secretary of the Baptist World Alliance’s North American Baptist Fellowship and senior editor of TCP Books. Contact him at GBullard@TheColumbiaPartnership.org or (803) 622-0923. His column was distributed by Baptist News Global.

During a conversation about the changes and challenges of church work, Bill Wilson, director of the Center for Healthy Churches, made a comment that summarized thoughts simmering in my mind. He said, “Ministry in the 21^st century is like growing potatoes on Mars.”

Barry HowardI immediately knew Bill and I had read the same book—Andy Weir’s The Martian, now a hit movie.

Intrigued by the fact a schoolteacher from our town made the cut on an early list of “contestants” vying to travel on the first passenger expedition to the red planet, my wife and I read The Martian shortly after publication. I found myself immersed in Weir’s tale, but for a different reason than most readers. While I suppose some were thrilled with the science fiction and others were enamored with space adventure, I was captivated by an inductive pastoral correlation.

Maybe it’s because I still thumb through my copy of Stanley Hauerwas’ and William Willimon’s Resident Aliens. Or maybe it is because the novel seems to be the antithesis of the Left Behind series. Or perhaps it’s merely because I tend to perceive and interpret life through pastoral eyes. Whatever my subconscious reasoning, I found the plight of American astronaut Mark Watney to be a lot like ministry in a post-modern, post-denominational world. Despite the frequent four-letter words, I found Watney’s predicament spiritually suggestive.

A driving metaphor

Without giving away the entire plot, suffice it to say Watney finds himself stranded on Mars, a dilemma no one has faced before. To survive, he must learn to grow potatoes on Mars, a feat that becomes a driving metaphor. And he tackles his cosmic dilemma with a methodical and almost sacramental strategy: “I cut each potato into four pieces, making sure each piece had at least two eyes. The eyes are where they sprout from. I let them sit for a few hours to harden a bit, then planted them, well spaced apart, in the corner. Godspeed, little taters. My life depends on you.”

How does potato-growing on Mars relate to ministry? As I read the novel, I gleaned these prophetic points for our current “alien” context: 

• Adjusting to a new landscape isn’t easy, but it is necessary. Address your current atmospheric conditions, not the atmosphere you are most accustomed to.
• Find creative ways to deal with your loneliness. Ministry can be isolating. Be aware you are not the first one or the only one to feel like you are “the only one.”
• • Maximize your resources. Learn to ration and cultivate, utilizing all available assets. 
• Consult your intellect, intuition and imagination to formulate your game plan.
• Develop a sustainable strategy with built-in contingencies to help navigate the unexpected.
• Anticipate obstacles and setbacks. Learn to stay calm under pressure and to do good trouble-shooting.
• Merge the best of expert advice and personal innovation to make contextual decisions.
• Do not be afraid to take risks. As Watney argues: “Space is dangerous. It’s what we do here. If you want to play it safe all the time, go join an insurance company.”
• Timing is crucial in making connections. Seize the moment when the window of opportunity opens.
• Do your best work when you think no one else is looking. Be disciplined to do your job, believing others are doing their job, even when you are not in constant communication with them.
• Remember, there are forces at work bigger than you.
• When you are tempted to give up, don’t! After one near catastrophe, Watney exclaims, “I guess you could call it a ‘failure,’ but I prefer the term ‘learning experience.’”

In case you haven’t noticed, church and ministry are entering a different season. For some, this is a slow realization. Like Watney’s awakening, “Blissful unconsciousness became foggy awareness, which transitioned into painful reality.” 

The challenges for church and ministry are daunting but not insurmountable. Effective ministry always has been challenging. Innovation and discipline can produce a bumper crop, even in less-than-ideal circumstances. Take up your spade and bucket, and your imagination, and start cultivating. 

The words of Thornton Wilder in Our Town ring clear: “Look at that moon. Potato weather for sure.”

Barry Howard is pastor of First Baptist Church in Pensacola, Fla., and coach with the Center for Healthy Churches.

Bill Cosby mentored me as a young father.

Although I’ve never met him, he—or at least his TV persona, Heathcliff Huxtable—taught me volumes about being a dad. Without a doubt, many thousands of fathers from my generation would make the same claim.

Editor Marv KnoxThe Cosby Show premiered in the fall of 1984, less than two months before our older daughter, Lindsay, celebrated her first birthday. The NBC program ran eight seasons and aired its final new episode in the spring of 1992, five months after our younger daughter, Molly, turned 5. 

Our family dropped what we were doing on Thursday nights—well before we possessed technology to record and tape TV shows—so we could spend part of the evening with the Huxtables. We laughed, groaned and occasionally even sniffled as we shared the ups and downs and quixotic adventures of American television’s first family. Later, we rejoined them in reruns, and it’s not coincidental that Joanna and I, as well as Lindsay and Molly, still can recite laugh lines and plots points of those old programs.

Practicing parenthood in real time

Cosby’s Cliff Huxtable appeared fortuitously as I was trying to figure out how to be a daddy. Without realizing it, I looked to him for tips on how to manage myriad familial situations. (Previously, of course, I learned some lessons from my own father. But they came along years before I dreamed of being a dad. With Cosby, I was picking up pointers and practicing parenthood in real time.)

Episode by episode, I learned vital lessons:

• In a family, the mother and father are an inseparable team. They do their best work when they stick together and follow the same plan.

• Parental love is vulnerable, but it is unconditional. A child can hurt a father, grieve a mother. Deeply. Often unintentionally. But a parent absorbs pain and never stops loving.

• Family history and folklore—stories about great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles and others—provide a treasure trove for children. They help explain why our family is the way it is, what we value and why, and what is expected of children as they age and mature. Plus, those old stories are lots of fun.

• Family love is big enough and flexible enough to take in others. We embody the best of family when we make friends who feel like family.

• Patience and listening are powerful parental tools. Given time and boundaries, difficult situations often work themselves out. Allow a child to talk for awhile, and she’ll often teach herself.

• Humor makes almost every situation better. And it heals all kinds of wounds, too. 

Those lessons provided much of the infrastructure for how I approached parenting. They made me a better father and husband. They blessed our daughters. They brought joy and laughter and health to our home.

So, news of Cosby’s reported sexual abuse of women has caused great consternation in our home, as it has in millions of homes across the nation. 

Cosby has denied the charges, and he has not been convicted. But the sheer number of women from across five decades who have come forward with almost identical stories of being drugged and sexually assaulted prevents us from turning our heads, from pretending nothing happened, from trying to explain it all away.

Baylor’s response

Fittingly, Baylor University responded this month by rescinding the honorary doctorate it bestowed upon Cosby in 2003. 

On a personal level, the reports of abominable behavior leave folks struggling for a response. For decades, we admired Cosby’s clean humor, his advocacy for African-American culture, his support for education and his now-ironic championship of family values. How could someone we thought we knew and loved—someone who delivered so much warm, gentle wisdom—apparently commit such heinous acts?

More pointedly, how do we weigh the value of the lessons he taught in light of the obscenity of his apparent abuses? The Bible teaches us all people sin and fall short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23), but we are ill-prepared to bridge such a wide and deep chasm of hypocrisy.

If Cosby is convicted, he deserves to spend the rest of his life in prison. And if he is guilty but has the resources to thwart a conviction, he deserves to live as a pariah.

The lessons remain valid

Still, the lessons we learned about fatherhood, parenting and marriage from Cliff Huxtable remain valid. Paradoxically, a mind can hold and nurture evil and yet espouse goodness and wisdom. We don’t want to believe that is possible, but human beings are complex, incongruous and often incomprehensible. 

We can ponder the Huxtable lessons and aspire to be as wise and virtuous as Cliff. And we must weigh the Cosby consequences and pray we never allow evil to overtake us and fall into the depravity that, apparently, consumed Bill.

Recently, I have been excited to see how some of the culture at our Baptist Student Ministry has shifted towards evangelism. I already felt convicted to evangelize. To be honest, my personal evangelism experiences have been really up and down. There are some great days where people are really receptive, and there are some days where nobody really wants to talk.

Jon RomanBut, my individual experience aside, I have definitely seen a shift in our BSM’s evangelism culture. At first, when I was going out to evangelize, I had to kind of push some individuals to go with me. Now I feel like it’s beginning to catch on. I am starting to see people get used to sharing their faith. I even see people who are excited about evangelism and feel like they’re missing out when they don’t get to go, and that’s awesome.

However I don’t want to paint an unrealistic picture. Sometimes the same students who are excited about evangelism one day have no interest whatsoever in going to evangelize the next. I understand that this is never really going to come naturally. A good God-honoring culture, like all great things, is something that never will come easily or accidentally. It is the result of constant work, but it’s work that I’m excited to be a part of.

Jon Roman is serving with Go Now Missions as a campus missionary intern at the University of Texas at El Paso.

Advising college students allows glimpses into their romances. Elaborate marriage proposals are trending. One Howard Payne University student placed his grandmother’s engagement ring on his fiancée’s finger in the same location on campus where his grandfather sought his grandmother’s hand. Eddie popped Cassidy’s question in an empty McLane Stadium. Kathy HillmanJohn chose a hot air balloon ride for Carly. Jeff arranged a school bus, since he first asked Joanna out as the band headed toward a football game. Our son Michael enlisted Jennifer’s pre-K class to help. Those “Yes” answers move families into planning mode finding the perfect venue, caterer and photographer. 

At a recent shower, someone asked, “Do you prefer the wedding or the reception?” My response, “The ceremony.” The Bible says, “A man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife” (Genesis 2:24). The handsome groom stands stiffly beside the minister. At last, all eyes turn where his already gaze. The radiant bride smiles only at him. They have chosen each other. The two sign a legal contract and create a new family. For Christians, marriage involves much, much more—a covenant. The bride and groom believe God has chosen each for the other. Thus, they solemnly pledge before the heavenly Father and supportive witnesses to steadfast, unconditional love and faithfulness.

Ashley Dunn and Derek Norris during their wedding ceremony. (Kathy Hillman Photo)Over the last several months, John and I attended four weddings as God created four new families in four Texas churches. At each, the minister asked those already married to renew their vows as Katy and Blake, Hayley and Cameron, Emily and Hunter, and Ashley and Derek made their promises. John and I clasped hands as we did December 22, 1973, in Baylor’s Armstrong Browning Library. We also remembered our three children’s weddings—Jennifer’s and Michael’s vows spoken beneath beautiful stained glass, Evie’s and Marshall’s with her pastor-father officiating, and Holly’s and Kevin’s at camp in view of a cross.

Wedding invitations, save-the-date reminders and ceremony programs for the weddings. (Kathy Hillman Photo)Instead of asking “Who gives this bride?” Ashley’s long-time pastor indicated her father represented both families and requested they bless the marriage. Their parents responded. At the ceremony’s close, the pastor didn’t tell Derek to kiss his bride. He invited the two to seal their vows with a kiss. I have little doubt these covenant-sealed marriages will last. 

Unfortunately, in today’s world, many couples put more thought into the proposal and that one day than into the years to follow. Finances, job pressures, busyness, family stress and a new phenomenon called phubbing (snubbing by choosing the phone instead of paying attention to the other person) create situations that undermine families.

Not only do we face these issues, but the recent Supreme Court ruling legalizing same-sex marriages adds new challenges. What should we do? Texas Baptists’ Christian Life Commission offers help for churches and ministers at http://texasbaptists.org/ministries/clc/ethics-justice/christianity-same-sex-marriage. We can expand some recommendations to strengthen marriages and families.

• Adopt or update the church’s constitution and bylaws to include marriage.
• Establish facilities use policies for weddings.
• Require substantive premarital counseling or marriage preparation courses in the wedding policy.
• Ensure that members, including youth, understand biblical beliefs about marriage and its importance. 

But living happily ever after extends beyond the wedding. A friend recently described watching a mom, dad and two young children at a sit-down restaurant. Phone to one ear, the mother stopped only to correct the children. The family of Carl Flynn having fun on a spontaneous outing—no electronics allowed. (Photo courtesy of Carl Flynn)Dad never looked up. My friend gave him “a free pass” for work-related texting until she realized he was playing a game. In describing the profile of mass shooters, a psychologist interviewed on a news program after the Oregon murders cited lack of connection. He specifically discussed not eating together and not providing attention while in the same room.

As one pastor-father said at his daughter’s wedding, “God is all about family. He sent his Son so we could become part of his family.” Christians and churches can encourage behavior that strengthens families.

• Ask volunteers not to use cell phones while teaching preschoolers, children and youth.
• Request that individuals put phones away during fellowship suppers. Some make a game with fun penalties for retrieving a phone.
• Encouragefamilies to enjoy regular meals together, even fast food, without electronics. Provide starter questions to spark conversation.
• Offer ideas for family togetherness including everything from mission opportunities to shooting hoops or playing baseball to enjoying a sunrise picnic to choosing and singing a family hymn.

Every marriage and every family won’t “live happily ever after” every day. But we can wrap them in the arms of the church and strengthen them as they prepare for the hereafter.

Kathy Hillman is president of the Baptist General Convention of Texas. She also is director of Baptist collections, library advancement and the Keston Center for Religion, Politics and Society at Baylor University.

On a recent night, I was riding in a car with my co-worker Ryan and a few new friends. One is from Scotland, one is from the Manchester area, and one is from Northern Ireland.

I love accents. I think they’re incredibly intriguing and interesting. It dawned on me as we were all riding together that I was enjoying the company of three friends, all with different accents. To me, that’s just the coolest thing. What kind of God do I serve, that I am where I am, serving the people I’m serving, and meeting the people I’m meeting? Surely, it’s the kind that knows what I love, and not only knows what I love, but loves that I love what I love. I have to ask myself, does the world think of God in this way? God certainly has not called his children to live boring lives.

From the day I found out about this trip to now, the details have been completely outside of my control. That’s just been the nature of the trip so far, and we’ve resigned ourselves to the fact that it will continue to be that way. This is God’s trip, not mine, and God will use it for his glory. Combine that with John 10:10, and all of a sudden I have a reason to be pumped. The details of this trip may be so far outside of my control, but if I serve a God that calls his children off the sidelines and into the abundance of life, then I can expect the year to take me so much deeper into the adventure that is following Christ. 

I don’t know exactly what that looks like, but Ryan and I are expecting God to do so much more than we could ever begin to imagine. Ephesians 3:20 says, “Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”

God has called me into a life full of life, and if he is able to do immeasurably more than I could ever ask, all for his glory, then why would I not take risks? Why would I want to stand on the sidelines? I should jump off that bench and yank up my cross because the Lord has said he is capable of doing more than I could ever dream of. 

Ryan and I want to see churches formed organically in pubs, and in cafes, and in homes, and in gyms. And not necessarily the type of church we think of in the United States, with a set service structure and routine. That type of church method doesn’t go very far with the unchurched here, which is all but about 1 percent of the people. Rather, we want to see a collection of people who simply gather around the word of God and enjoy life together where they live life. That’s a crazy, intimidating goal, because it requires us to leave our comfort zones, and gather where the unchurched gather. But God said he can do more than I could think to ask, so why not dream big?

Ryan and I met with the director of the Welsh Student Union the other day and talked to him about joining a Welsh choir. How cool would that be! He also said the Welsh Student Union puts out a journal, and they give international students the opportunity to write a column about their experiences in Wales. 

Another very practical opportunity he gave us was to join them as they take some vans to a pub in north Wales and just hang out and enjoy each other’s company. That’s a little intimidating, because it will be tons of strangers speaking Welsh. But if God has called me to an adventurous and risky but full life, and he is capable of doing more in our lives than we could imagine, then I’m willing to jump head long into situations like that, knowing that this is God’s trip, to do with as he pleases. 

Jacob Allen, a student at Dallas Baptist University, is serving in Wales with Go Now Missions.

When we discuss outreach, we describe why people have marginal connection to our church. But we almost never talk about issues common to all people, much less what to do about them. Does our approach diminish the gospel?

If the question is, “Does our concept of outreach diminish gospel commands enunciated by Jesus?” the answer may be yes. Perhaps the more relevant question for your church should be, “Does our church have a marginal connection to people?” Christ’s message is not to talk about issues but to act on his love.

Consider what you mean by outreach. An examination of your goals might be a good starting place. Look at the motives of your membership and the meaning ascribed to “outreach.” If the focus is how we reach “those people,” sinners who are not like us, you may have your answer. In considering others’ marginal connection to your church, is there frustration that you are unable to change people. Is the goal to get people to come so you can grow membership in your congregation?

The need for love, acceptance and grace

The issues common to all people are the need for love, acceptance and grace. Christ compels us to demonstrate those values to the world. If there is a reason Christianity may be on the road to becoming a minority religion, it may be because the Christians who are shown as examples of Christ’s followers in popular culture are greedy, ugly and judgmental. A church known for what its members are against will have difficulty forming a connection to its community.

Christ compels us to look outward, to move out of our comfort level and to demonstrate his commands by tackling issues not common to all, but to the poor, marginalized and strangers who have the least of the comforts American Christians take for granted. Should not service, rather than outreach, be your goal? Talk is cheap, and faith without works is dead.

Forget discussing “issues” common to all people. List the needs of the people in your community. Formulate plans to meet those needs and move to actions to implement them. 

Regardless of its size, your church members can find food for those who are going without meals and find ways to mentor those who need to obtain meaningful work. Are your members engaged in advocacy for the least of those around you? It is not partisan to vigorously oppose laws that allow predatory lending to ensnare people in cycles of debt from which they cannot get free. It is biblical. 

Walking in God’s footprints

During his recent visit to America, Pope Francis urged all Catholic parishes to adopt a refugee family. If all churches did the same, would God not smile as we welcome the stranger? During a televised interview, a child said the pope is neat because he walks in God’s footprints. All Christians should strive to walk in God’s footprints alongside the poor and disenfranchised. If we do, the concern of people not connecting with churches may disappear because we will be following Christ’s command to connect to people.

Cynthia Holmes, attorney 

St. Louis, Mo.

If you have a comment about this column or wish to ask a question for a future column, contact Bill Tillman, consulting ethicist for “Right or Wrong?” at btillman150@gmail.com.

“You know, you could just take ’em down,” Joanna told me, demonstrating yet again my wife is both smarter and more practical than I.

She pointed to the three banks of vertical blinds, which she considered a blight upon our enclosed patio, and which I hadn’t given much thought since we moved into our home nine years ago. 

The last time we looked for a house, we wanted to downsize a bit. We accomplished that feat, stepping back about 400 or 500 square feet.

We also wanted to reduce the number of “living spaces” in our home from two to one. For years, we’d felt a living room was a waste. We spend all our time in the den. Ditto for the dining room, occupied only at Thanksgiving and Christmas.

The perfect floorplan

We imagined the “perfect” floorplan with a single large room for all family functions—kitchen, eating, gathering.

Forget it. We couldn’t find it. And if we built our own home, we’d have to move even farther from work. 

So, we kept looking. We found this house. We fell in love with it from the start. And it has three living spaces, not one or even two.

But here’s the deal: This house originally was U-shaped, with the den and garage on one side, the living room in the middle and the master bedroom on the other side. Previous owners enclosed a section of the “U,” installed skylights and walled it off with three sliding-glass doors. 

The light, airy patio—the third living space we said we didn’t want—sold us on this home. And we’ve always loved it. Joanna works from home and keeps her office out there. We bought the previous owners’ wicker furniture, put down a rug, added my grandfather’s old rocker and refused to add a TV. 

The perfect patio

It’s the perfect place for drinking coffee on Saturday mornings or reading a book on Sunday afternoons. It’s a space that lifts our spirits.

Except for those blinds, which we never closed and which hung there like ever-yellowing columns. 

Jo talked about how ugly they were. She mentioned getting rid of them. More than once. Waaaay more than once. 

In my mind, I figured we would be rid of them when we eventually had to replace the sliding-glass doors and added windows and French doors.

Then Jo said it: “You know, you could just take ’em down.”

Now, why didn’t I think of that? Simply removing the old blinds would brighten the room. And it might even let me put off replacing the doors. 

Not so fast. 

Imperfect tools

None of my Allen wrenches fit the square slot in the screws that secured the braces that held the blinds up. I bought metric wrenches, and they didn’t work, either.

I could jam the end of my smallest screwdriver into slot, but I couldn’t get enough torque to remove the screws. 

So, I began to lie to myself. The room will look “just fine” if I take the blinds down but leave the braces up. 

Of course, I knew better. And so I climbed up on the stepladder and finally backed a single, solitary screw out.

That was the mechanical equivalent of finding a serial killer’s DNA. 

That single, solitary screw in my pocket, I drove to our friendly neighborhood hardware store and talked to one of the nice clerks wearing a red vest. 

“What you need is a flibbertygibbert,” he said. Actually, he didn’t say “flibbertygibbert,” but I don’t remember what he called it. What he did was take me to a shelf and pick up a package of two doohickeys that fit into (a) the square slot in the screw and (b) my drill.

After I got home, the blinds came down and out of the patio in 10 minutes. Amazing what you can do with the correct tool.

Sitting in our patio across the past nine years, I’ve often thought we shouldn’t put too much stock in setting our hearts on specific things and situations and even relationships. Over and over again when I’ve fallen into that trap, the Lord has surprised me with a “solution” I never would have imagined. And I never would have enjoyed it if I had not given God room to work.