Alone in Meridian, but God is in control

Having been here in Meridian a little more than a week, one thing has become clearer as the days pass. Being the only summer intern here is going to be hard. Already, I have experienced doubts and loneliness. It has been hard finding the answer to the question, “Why am I here?” 

Daniel HarrisI spent last summer at Mission Centers of Houston with 18 other summer missionaries. That environment was completely different, because I was not the only person who didn’t seem like he knew what he was doing. I could talk with people nearby who knew what I was going through, because they were experiencing the same thing. 

In Meridian, it’s a completely different story. Instead of constantly being around people and working with people directly, I am on my own, with no one where I am emotionally, working indirectly with missionaries. I realize now, since I feel called to long-term missions, I would face the same doubts and feelings of loneliness if I were serving somewhere I didn’t know the culture well, didn’t know the language well and had to build relationships with complete strangers who didn’t understand me. 

Recently, I was reading in 1 Samuel 2:1-10 and Luke 1:46-55. These passages are the prayers of Mary and Hannah. I had never thought to compare the two before, but now I see a lot of striking similarities. I noticed in their time of prayer, both women were vulnerable. In their vulnerability, they both came to recognize the power of God. 

Ultimately, God is in control. It wasn’t in my plan to be the only intern here, and I know it wasn’t my supervisor’s plan either, but I know God wants me here. As far as the question to why I am here, the answer for now is because God wants me here. I just have to be vulnerable like Hannah and Mary were and recognize that God is in control. 

Daniel Harris, a student at Howard Payne University, is serving this summer in Meridian with Go Now Missions.