Building a bridge

Layer No. 1—The basics

My roommate Alfred and I have been getting to know each other better. I learned where he lives, where he's going to go to school, and his major. He has done the same with me. First layer is complete.

Layer No. 2—Stacking information

Alfred has been wanting to learn more and more about why I do things differently like holding the door, letting him shower first even though I won't get hot water, and always encouraging others when they make a mistake. My response is that I just have this soul that wants to help out others and just putting others before me. I find that life is just better when I help others. It's not as big as giving up your car because someone doesn't have one, but the little things people do can make a huge difference in one's life.

Layer No. 3—Making sure the center is full

During lunch, we sit next to each other. In East Asian culture, if a friend offers you food, it's a big deal. Alfred offered me some grapes. At first I was scared to try them because they were huge and did not look normal, but I remembered about their culture. I felt very happy that he had offered some of his grapes knowing that that was his favorite fruit. To me, it meant that we were establishing a relationship, and that I felt appreciated. It meant that what I was teaching him about being kind to others is rubbing off on him. I was elated that I could begin to guide him toward Christ.

Layer No. 4—Sensitivity

I shared my story with my group. I opened up to them, telling them about my past, including drunk driving. Alfred felt emotional about my story and about how I decided to turn my life around. He asked if I had any regrets about the situation. I told him I had to go through that experience to feel vulnerability and choose a better path.

Alfred opened up about how he wanted to change as well. He wanted to be a gentleman like me, which I found amusing. He said that my story helped me realize about some choices that he has made. He said he knows they were bad choices, but he didn't really change him. You don't have to look for the bad choice to change your outlook on life. All you have to do is realize you've made mistakes and not do it again.

Layer No. 5—Polishing the finishing touches

Alfred told me has trouble with thinking too much. I found it as a huge coincidence because I have the same problem. He wanted to know the answer. I told him that in America, it's called anxiety. Some people take pills to control it. You can't always rely on pills though. You have to gain strength by prayer to control your thoughts.

Alfred said that it's hard for him to do so. I told him to close his eyes and find his happy place that is calming and relaxing. He did as I said, and I asked where his happy place was. His response was that he was on a cloud speaking to a man about his problem. That man told him not worry about tomorrow when today hasn't even finished. Alfred felt comfortable talking to me and knew he could trust me. He said we are really good friends, and he doesn't want camp to end.

Kevin, a student at Texas A&M University in Kingsville, is serving with Go Now Missions in East Asia. His last name is withheld for security reasons.