Houston: Highs, lows and learning to trust

I was really nervous about starting to meet with girls one-on-one this semester for discipleship. I was new to it last year and had no idea what I was doing.

DeEdra BranchBut God has been so gracious to me this year. He showed me the relationships I formed with the girls last semester definitely had value, because now we know each other and have established trust with one another. It has made conversations flow much easier, and I have learned to welcome and cherish the differences in personalities and levels of spiritual maturity.

I don’t see what I’m doing as my job. I count it an honor that God would choose me to walk alongside a girl—to encourage and challenge and love her as she discovers more of Christ. My schedule has started to fill up, which I like, because I am task-oriented. So, I am enjoying this new pace of ministry life.

Along with the high points come the low points. I co-lead a small group in one of the dorms on campus, and it has been looking like a lost cause. The first week brought out a good handful of students who all expressed their desire to find a community to get involved in while away from home.

Trying not to get discouraged

I saw the sincerity in their faces and was excited to get to know them more. But since then, we have seen only one or two students every week. I have tried my hardest not to get discouraged, but I can’t help but wonder where those students are now who looked so eager before to be a part of something different.

In my pouting, however, God reminded me of the call to obedience. So, I have prayed for the students of that dorm and even played pool with some in the lobby. It’s really difficult to press on when there is seemingly no fruit, but I am just trying to trust God and be obedient to what he has called me to do.

What is God teaching me? “Trust me.” That’s it. God has been showing me, ever so graciously, that I do not fully trust him. It’s really hard sometimes not to look at God through the lens of man but simply through the Spirit. I don’t understand his grace or his forgiveness, and I say I want him to take the reins, but I still hold on to a tiny piece. 

Risky the horse is a beautiful, massive animal. She could buck me off her back at any moment, but she chooses to let me ride. I’m holding on and trusting she will go the right way. I’m assured by her strength that she can hold my weight. And although I could direct her, I allow her to lead me. And it feels therapeutic—like the cares of life all vanish for a little while, because I am marveling at her grace and beauty. 

God is risky

God is risky too. He asks me to trust him with my whole life, not just parts of it. He promises to lead me in the right direction and to freely accept his love. He gives me the free will to make my own decisions while never ceasing to pursue me. He has proven he has my back and that he sees me through the lens of Christ. 

Pray that I will continue to trust the Lord with all of me. Pray that while I spend time with God, I would see more of his character and let that be the lens I see him through.

DeEdra Branch is serving with Go Now Missions as a campus missionary intern at the University of Houston.