I have been fervently trying to prepare spiritually for this journey, and there were still some points in the last few weeks where I had moments of feeling inadequate. But I immediately was comforted in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 where the Bible says: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
It doesn't matter how prepared I feel or not, God will use me despite of my failings. He still will be glorified if I can't remember a certain verse reference or if I flub something up in my testimony. He is not dependent on me. I will be used to his glory regardless of my imperfections. That definitely removes some of the pressure. However, that is not an excuse for me to be stagnant in my spiritual growth. Rather, it is a reason for me to feel adequate through Christ.
Following Jesus isn't about trying harder. It's about resting harder. If we're honest though, the latter is more difficult. Fortunately, I confidently can say I am resting in Jesus as I take this step this summer. I'm striving for my reliance on God’s guidance to be radical and selfless and bold. I want to redefine what this world says is possible and rewrite the books of possibility in his name. I want to wake up every morning and say to God: “Use me however you need. Use me in whatever capacity, with whatever challenges, and under whatever scrutiny you know that I can handle. Fill me with your limitless strength and energy. Use me as your tool.”
Please pray for the preparation of hearts and the willingness of minds as I enter into this special time of ministry this summer. Pray for my own heart as I grow and depend more heavily on Jesus. Pray for boldness. Pray for humility. I can't wait to see how God moves this summer.
Kali Hellinghausen, a student at Northwestern State University, is serving in Fort Collins, Colo., with Go Now Missions.
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