Recently, my heart was shattered into a million pieces. I really believe it is because of the prayer I have prayed continuously these past few weeks: “God, break my heart for what breaks yours, and allow me to love these people freely with your love.”
Recently, my rose-colored glasses were removed and with that, my heart broke.
My heart broke for the elderly man who has to beg at the bottom of the sky-train station. He is missing hands and can’t walk on his own. I long for him to know the Lord and learn God can provide for all his needs.
The blind man
My heart broke for the blind man who wanders the busy streets alone trying to sell lottery tickets to make money, but hardly anyone buys them. I just wanted to hold his hand and walk with him so he knows he isn’t alone. I want him to know he has a Father who is pursuing his heart and wants to walk with him daily.
My heart broke when I remembered the children I get to work with and thought about the things they fear and the things they have seen and experienced that no child ever should have to experience. I just want them to know it’s OK, and God is holding them in his hands.
My heart broke when I walked into the refugee detention center, and I saw families standing on the other side of the fences, broken but so joyful that we were there to talk to them and bring them hope. I just wanted to tear down the gates so they can be free and so I could love on them and tell them how much their Creator loves them.
My heart broke when I walked through the red light district and saw the hundreds of people there with no hope. My heart especially broke when I saw one particular person standing in the bar looking broken. I want those people to know there is so much hope and love in our Saviour and know Jesus heals the broken.
My heart broke for so many people and reasons.
One night, I Skyped my mom, and I broke down crying. I had no expectations of breaking down and really hate crying, but it was such a beautiful moment. I finally understood my prayer and what was happening in my heart.
I realized that this was just a tiny glimpse of how God’s heart breaks for us when he sees us hurting and helpless, and when God sees us constantly running to and living in sin. He longs to fix us, and he wants us to find hope and help in him.
I am never going to fully understand why people hurt, suffer and don’t want to know God.
But God does. Reality says this world is a sinful, broken place full of suffering people. But there is another reality. There is a Savior who can rescue the whole world and loves everyone more than I could ever imagine. He loves the people that my heart has broken for, far better and far more than I ever could.
It isn’t my job to fix them or to understand why so many people are broken. But I do have to allow God to break my heart so I can hand them over to him. Hand them over to God and put myself in a place to be intentional, pray for them harder than ever and love on them as the Spirit —not myself—leads me to. I am trusting and holding on to the promise that one day every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord.
To show his love
I am trusting that in these last few weeks here, God will use my bold prayer to teach me more lessons and that the Lord will move in big ways and may even use me to help show his love to the people for whom my heart has broken.
Alyssa Campbell, a student at Midwestern State University, is serving in Bangkok, Thailand, with Go Now Missions.