My last month is Bangkok was a tough one, but it was so good. I have learned so much about God’s character in the time that I was in Thailand, and this last month really helped me put all my thoughts together.
Stacie AguilarGod continued to remind me of his perfect love. It always seems funny to me that he could show me such love in the middle of a red-light district, in a place so deprived of it. However, it turned out to be the perfect place for God to show me. Every time I stepped onto the streets of one of the districts, I was reminded of these words, “There is no pit so deep that God’s love is not deeper still.” For me, it was all the encouragement needed to move forward and step into the darkness, knowing God’s light would always shine brighter.
The funny thing is these individuals were in dark places, but they were hardly difficult to love. Some of them were the kindest people I had ever met. A lot of times, I wasn’t asking for strength to love the ones in the bars but some of the others around me. Many times, I was asking for strength to love myself.
Stacie Aguilar (right) and fellow staff members just before leaving Thailand.If I am completely honest, Bangkok is not my favorite place to live. I love many people there, and I enjoyed some aspects of the city and culture. Then again, there were things that I did not like. Being at odds with the culture made it difficult for me, and it often made me upset. I spent too much of my time feeling guilty for not fitting in the way I wanted to, and too much time comparing myself to those who seemed to connect so effortlessly. I believe God brought me to Bangkok for a reason, but sometimes it was so hard to see.
July was definitely a hard month of learning more about myself, to see my shortcomings and weaknesses, but also to be reminded of God’s strength. For me, it became apparent that sometimes it is not enough to try and delight in God without remembering that he also delights in us. I was trying to share the love of God to others without believing it entirely for my life. I wanted people to know God was proud of them while I felt like a disappointment myself.
Bangkok’s red light district.Thankfully, God continues to show me how pleased he is with me. Even though my time in Thailand was not always what I thought it would be, I take comfort in knowing I was faithful and obedient to go where God sent me. I am encouraged by the fact that this life is not about who I am and what I have done, but about who God is, what he has done and what he is doing. I am thankful God has shown me his love for the people of Thailand, but also the love that he has for me.
As I was leaving Bangkok, God also continued to reinforce that he is sovereign. Everywhere I looked, I saw a place God is redeeming for his glory and people he is drawing to himself. As I walked the red-light districts one last time, I knew these places would not be there forever, and I prayed that one day I would come back only to see the remnants of something that once was. I know God was moving in these streets long before I ever even thought about coming, and God will continue to be at work long after I am gone. What he started, he will see through to its completion.
Stacie Aguilar, a recent graduate of the University of Texas at El Paso, served with an anti-trafficking ministry in Thailand through Go Now Missions.
We seek to connect God’s story and God’s people around the world. To learn more about God’s story, click here.
Send comments and feedback to Eric Black, our editor. For comments to be published, please specify “letter to the editor.” Maximum length for publication is 300 words.