Explore the Bible Series for May 11: Work toward reconciliation

Posted: 5/02/08

Explore the Bible Series for May 11

Work toward reconciliation

• Genesis 44:1-2, 32-34; 45:1-9, 14-15

By Donald Raney

First Baptist Church, Petersburg

When someone has hurt us, particularly if we feel it was intentional, typically the furthest thing from our mind is to seek reconciliation. We would much rather seek revenge.

After a little time has passed, most people tend to settle into one of several attitudes. Some choose to “leave well enough alone,” thinking somehow the breach in the relationship will heal itself. Others consciously write the person off and avoid any contact with the one who has hurt them. Still others go about their lives waiting for the other person to seek their forgiveness.

Each of these approaches most often end with a relationship that is permanently broken. Such an outcome breaks the heart of God who created us to be in mutually edifying relationships with each other.

In the biblical account of Joseph and his brothers, we see an extreme case of broken relationships. Joseph’s pride and poor judgment along with his brothers’ jealousy and harsh reactions led to a seemingly irreconcilable split. Indeed, Joseph’s brothers had assumed Joseph was dead and had gone on with their lives. When they ultimately were brought back together, Joseph found himself in a position to exact revenge. Yet as we read the story, we can see how we might fulfill God’s desire that we always work toward reconciliation.

Seeking confirmation (Genesis 44:1-2)

Because they had assumed Joseph had died in slavery, Jacob’s sons did not recognize Joseph when they came to Egypt for help. Joseph, however, did recognize his brothers. But before he would reveal his identity to them, he wanted to see if they had changed. He wanted to assess what their reaction might be to learning the one they had sold was now in a position of power. He wanted to know if they still harbored resentment or jealousy against a son of Rachel, Jacob’s favored wife.

Before he would give them grain, he required that they bring their youngest brother, Rachel’s son Benjamin, to Egypt. He then arranged to make it look as if Benjamin had stolen a chalice. Would the brothers simply allow Benjamin to be imprisoned or would they fight to protect him?

Often when someone has hurt us, we may feel God prodding us to seek reconciliation, but we are not sure the other person would be receptive. While we may not be in a position of influence like Joseph, we still can determine the heart of the other person by regularly praying for him or her, performing some act of kindness for him or her, or complimenting him or her on some accomplishment. While these efforts may not lead to the desired response, we must still be the one to act.

Receiving verification (Genesis 44:32-34)

Joseph’s plan worked as he had desired. When it was discovered Benjamin had “stolen” the chalice, his brothers immediately came to his defense. Indeed, it was Judah, who had led in the initial plot to get rid of Joseph (Genesis 37:26-27), who spoke first and even offered to remain in prison if Joseph would allow Benjamin to return home. It was clear to Joseph from such a reaction his brothers had changed and he could reveal himself to them and seek to restore the relationship.

As we work toward reconciliation, our efforts may not have the same positive results Joseph’s actions had. The other person may simply not want to reconcile. We should never allow that to prevent us from trying. We also should be sure we are sensitive to their responses and be ready and willing to pursue reconciliation should their response indicate their openness to it.

Making reconciliation (Genesis 45:1-9, 14-15)

Joseph clearly was overcome by Judah’s response to the threat to Benjamin. He had all his servants leave the room in order to reveal himself privately to his brothers. Once the room was cleared, Joseph spoke to his brothers. The temptation likely was there to yell and criticize them for what they had done to him years earlier. He could have gone into a long speech about all of the ways he had suffered and all of the things he had missed by not being with his family.

But Joseph did not do that. Instead he began by reassuring them he no longer bore any grudge. They need not fear him. Time had taught Joseph that God had been at work guiding him there so he might be able to help save the lives of many people. He told them he would make arrangements for the entire family to come and live in a prosperous area within Egypt.

Joseph understood that if reconciliation was to be made, he would not only have to make the first move, but he would also have to forgive his brothers and let go of all the hurt of the past.

The same is true for us. If we want to truly be reconciled with others, we must move beyond past wrongs and hurt. Romans 12:18 instructs us to do all we can to live at peace with others. Peace cannot coexist where there is any trace of tension, conflict or hurt feelings. Reconciliation between individuals always is part of God’s will for their lives. Sometimes we simply have to be willing to turn the hurt over to God and look for ways to be God’s instrument for bringing about reconciliation.