DOWN HOME: A few cool words about summer A.C.

OK, I’ve got an idea for lowering the price of fuel, enhancing the environment, improving national security and possibly even sweetening a few marriages.

Are you ready? Here it is: Turn the thermostat up a few degrees in the summertime, particularly in public places.

Now, that sounds crazy this time of year, when you can fry the proverbial egg on the metaphorical sidewalk. It’s already blistering hot, and some nut is talking about turning the temp up? Ridiculous.

But just think about it: How long has it been since you practically froze to death when you went out to eat? I bet the name of the month didn’t end in “-uary,” much less “-ber.”

This time of year, managers of restaurants and movie theaters seem to think they have to keep their establishments at approximately the median temperature of Norway on New Year’s Day.

Just think about it: What’s one of the best feelings of summer? When you’re wearing sandals, it’s the tingling in your toes you get when you walk outside after watching a movie matinee. You think they’re frostbitten, but then the blood finally thins out and you realize toelessness is not in your future. And who says miracles don’t still happen?

This time of year, the back of our vehicle is filled with sweaters and shawls. For several years, my wife, Joanna, (the smart one in the family) has carried extra garments in the summer, so she doesn’t suffer through frigid meals when we go out to eat. A few months ago, I threw my windbreaker in the car, because I figured I’d rather be known as the idiot in the jacket than listen to my teeth chatter every time we pop into our favorite pizza joint.

So, here are the benefits to America if restaurants and movie theaters (and dare I add—churches?) would nudge the ol’ thermostat up, say three degrees:

• The price of fuel in America would drop. Don’t believe me? Google “supply and demand.”

• The environment would improve. So, you don’t want to get into the whole “global warming” thing. OK, just think about wind. It’s whipped up by all that cold air rushing out when the door opens.

• Our national security would be greatly enhanced. Yep, that’s right. Lower your dependence on imported fuel, and the world’s a safer place.

• And what about sweeter marriages? Oh, I know you’re with me now. “Date night” always is more fun when the theme is something other than “Nanook of the North goes out for Eskimo Pies.”

Alrighty, so maybe you think this column is silly. I agree.

But so is going around freezing in the summertime.